A Prayer to Survive

The more that we choose not to talk about domestic violence, the more we shy away from the issue, the more we lose.

In my dreams I’m a queen

But I wake to his scream

He tells me that I’m a whore

As he beats you to the floor

His hands use to keep me safe and sound

Now a place around my throat they have found

Making me gasp for air

I silently start to say a prayer

A prayer to survive
I just wanting to stay alive

GET READY

Get Ready

To have YOUR life back!

Get Ready

To leave the abuse behind!

Get ready!

Because YOU deserve your “dignity”!

Get ready

To let the “healing” start!

Get Ready

To live “without” fear!

Get Ready

YOU have the right to be “YOU”!

Get Ready

To use YOUR voice and be “heard”!

Get Ready

To dance to the music of “freedom”

Get Ready

To re-learn how to be “alive”!

Get Ready

To grab the reins of “empowerment”!

Get Ready

To walk into L.I.F.E.

Get Ready

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

(L)ove (I)integrity (F)orgiveness (E)mpowerment

If you’re not “READY for LIFE”,

When will “YOU” think it’s time to “GET READY”?

No time like today, tomorrow’s not promised.

Violence against women

• 
  
• Violence against women – particularly intimate partner violence and sexual violence – is a major public health problem and a violation of women's human rights.
• 
  
• Global estimates published by WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.
• 
  
• Most of this violence is intimate partner violence. Worldwide, almost one third (30%) of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner in their lifetime.
• 
  
• Globally, as many as 38% of murders of women are committed by a male intimate partner.
• 
  
• Violence can negatively affect women’s physical, mental, sexual, and reproductive health, and may increase the risk of acquiring HIV in some settings.
• 
  
• Men are more likely to perpetrate violence if they have low education, a history of child maltreatment, exposure to domestic violence against their mothers, harmful use of alcohol, unequal gender norms including attitudes accepting of violence, and a sense of entitlement over women.
• 
  
• Women are more likely to experience intimate partner violence if they have low education, exposure to mothers being abused by a partner, abuse during childhood, and attitudes accepting violence, male privilege, and women’s subordinate status.
• 
  
• There is evidence that advocacy and empowerment counselling interventions, as well as home visitation are promising in preventing or reducing intimate partner violence against women.
• 
  
• Situations of conflict, post conflict and displacement may exacerbate existing violence, such as by intimate partners, as well as and non-partner sexual violence, and may also lead to new forms of violence against women.

Why Do Women Stay?

Economic dependence has been found to be the central reason. Without the ability to sustain themselves economically, women are forced to stay in abusive relationships and are not able to be free from violence. Due to deep-rooted values and culture, women do not prefer to adopt the option of separation or divorce. They also fear the consequences of reporting violence and declare an unwillingness to subject themselves to the shame of being identified as battered women. Lack of information about alternatives also forces women to suffer silently within the four walls of their homes. Some women may believe that they deserve the beatings because of some wrong action on their part. Other women refrain from speaking about the abuse because they fear that their partner will further harm them in reprisal for revealing family secrets, or they may be ashamed of their situation.

Violence against women is a violation of basic human rights. It is shameful for the states that fail to prevent it and societies that tolerate and in fact perpetuate it. It must be eliminated through political will, and by legal and civil action in all sectors of society.

Domestic Violence Against Women: An Unfinished Agenda

“Domestic violence is a burden on numerous sectors of the social system and quietly, yet dramatically, affects the development of a nation… batterers cost nations fortunes in terms of law enforcement, health care, lost labor and general progress in development. These costs do not only affect the present generation; what begins as an assault by one person on another, reverberates through the family and the community into the future”. 

Domestic violence is a global issue reaching across national boundaries as well as socio-economic, cultural, racial and class distinctions. This problem is not only widely dispersed geographically, but its incidence is also extensive, making it a typical and accepted behavior. Domestic violence is wide spread, deeply ingrained and has serious impacts on women's health and well-being. Its continued existence is morally indefensible. Its cost to individuals, to health systems and to society is enormous. Yet no other major problem of public health has been so widely ignored and so little understood

I'm Waiting

“If we are to fight discrimination and injustice against women we must start from the home for if a woman cannot be safe in her own house then she cannot be expected to feel safe anywhere.” 

They say with time it gets better

33 years and I'm still waiting

I fight, I cry, I scream

I'm waiting

I wake up afraid to open my eyes

Afraid to start my day

Afraid who or what will trigger it

Afraid every minute

I'm waiting

I'm afraid to walk out the door

Afraid of who is out there

Afraid of what will happen

Afraid that I can't escape

I'm waiting

I'm afraid to close my eyes

Afraid of what I will see, hear

Afraid of what I will dream

Afraid of screaming

Afraid I won't wake up in time

I'm waiting

I'm afraid to start a new day

I'm waiting

What are the effects of domestic violence?

The effects of domestic violence are wide ranging and will differ for all victims. In some cases the impact of domestic violence is fatal.

The obvious physical effects of domestic violence can include, physical injury such as cuts, bruising, broken bones etc. What is often not so obvious is the emotional suffering which can occur as a direct result of domestic violence. Such emotional suffering can have devastating effects on a victim which are prevalent in both the short and long term. Victims of domestic violence will experience a range of emotions, including fear, confusion, uncertainty, worry for their children, instability and anxiety all of which make it increasingly difficult to leave the relationship. Research has shown that domestic violence causes lasting damage to a victim’s physical and mental health, affecting all areas of their lives, including work, relationships, social life, confidence and self esteem etc. Recovering from the impact of domestic violence is a process which can be a long and painful journey.

A Battle

Each day is a battle

A battle to forget

A battle to forgive

A battle to fight the nightmares

A battle to fight the invisible ghost

A battle to fight to survive

A battle to be happy

A battle to be normal

The battle never ends, it’s a constant war within my head

End Violence Against Women In All Forms

One woman is killed each week by an intimate partner

Domestic violence (DV) is a global public health problem of epidemic proportions and has resulted in a call for “urgent action”, by the World Health Organisation. The United Nation’s Sustainable Development Goals - a worldwide call to action on various social impact fronts - lists domestic violence as one key target in improving gender equality and safety.

Despite the unacceptable statistics, Australia’s laws and support services are relatively advanced when compared to other nations globally though we need to do better, both in Australia and abroad. Domestic violence in Australia and globally is not limited by gender, however, as a “key area of focus” Bravember has chosen to support efforts that primarily reduce “male violence against women” (MVAW).

Threats of Violence

Violent threats involve the use of words, gestures, motions, looks or weapons to communicate a threat to frighten, harm, injure, disable, rape or kill. The act does not have to be carried out for it to be abusive behavior

Psychological Abuse

Psychological abuse is a broad term that includes acts, threats of acts or coercive tactics to cause someone fear and trauma. If there has been previous physical or sexual abuse in the relationship, any further threat of abuse is considered psychological violence.

Psychological abuse can include:

• Humiliation
• Controlling what the victim can and cannot do.
• Withholding information.
• Diminishing or embarrassing the victim.
• Isolating the victim from friends and family.

Financial Abuse

Financial abuse is one of the most common forms of domestic abuse and also the difficult to recognize, even for the victims. It can involve a partner denying the victim access to money or other resources. Refusing to allow a spouse to work or get an education is also a form of financial abuse. It is often seen in homes where an abuser forces the victim into isolation by limiting when they can communicate with family and friends. Isolation makes it more difficult for a victim to have any form of financial freedom.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse not only includes rape and sexual assault, but it also includes demeaning behavior like exposing a partner's body to friends, forcing a partner into posing for pornography, secretly videotaping a partner while engaging in sex, or forcing a partner to have sex without using protection. Reproductive coercion, which is forcing a partner into having an abortion is a form of domestic sexual abuse.

Another form of domestic sexual abuse is sexually assaulting someone who is unable to refuse due to disability, illness, intimidation or the influence of alcohol or other drugs. 

There are three main categories of sexual abuse:

• Using physical force to compel someone to have sex against their will, whether the act is completed or not.

• Attempting or having sex with someone who is unable to understand the nature of the act or unable to decline participation or is unable to communicate their unwillingness.
• Abusive sexual contact of any kind.

DO YOU

“Slowly, it dawned on me that nothing was more important than stopping violence toward women—that the desecration of women indicated the failure of human beings to honor and protect life and that this failing would, if we did not correct it, be the end of us all. I do not think I am being extreme. When you rape, beat, maim, mutilate, burn, bury, and terrorize women, you destroy the essential life energy of the planet. You force what is meant to be open, trusting, nurturing, creative, and alive to be bent, infertile, and broken.”

“Poor women suffer terrible sexual violence that goes unreported. Because of their social class, these women do not have access to therapy or other methods of healing. Their repeated abuse ultimately eats away at their self-esteem, driving them to drugs, prostitution, AIDS, and in many cases, death.”