Domestic violence is a silent crime

Behind the walls of the home, domestic violence plays out in communities across the United States each day. Sometimes a man will inflict harm on his wife. Sometimes it is the other way around. Tragically, sometimes children are the victims of domestic violence.

Almost never is a camera present to record the crime. Other than the victim, there is no one to witness the emotional, verbal, physical and/or sexual abuse.

Often the victim feels trapped or helpless. The victim feels as though it is his or her word against the abuser's.

Many times abusers isolate their victims so that they effectively eliminate any "lifeline" that the victim might have.

The situation often becomes one in which the victims of domestic violence do all they can just to avoid a violent outburst or triggering a situation. The desperation of the abused, over time, becomes a "Stockholm Syndrome" scenario in which the victim defends the actions of the abuser in order to survive.

There are many people who see the signs of domestic violence in others but say nothing. For many, it is easier to turn a blind eye rather than get involved.

As a domestic relations judge, I see cases of domestic violence often. As a result of the seemingly indifferent attitudes of victim and observer, domestic violence is a silent crime.

There is no Hollywood ending for victims of domestic violence. Ignoring the hallmarks of domestic violence only enables abusers to continue their behavior. As the saying goes: the only thing that evil needs to flourish is for good people to do nothing.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. There are two things that I ask you to do:

1) Learn the signs of domestic violence because your friend, family member or coworker may be exhibiting these. If you have school age children, educate them and discuss with them the telltale signs of abuse – they may have schoolmates exhibiting such signs. Find more information on the Ohio Domestic Violence Network www.odvn.org

2) If you witness acts of domestic violence, or you strongly suspect a situation of domestic violence, do not turn away. You can call 911. If you are reluctant to dial 911, then call the Ohio Domestic Violence Network at 800-934-9840

Many victims take on the attitude that they have done something to deserve the abuse they are suffering. No one deserves the abuse inflicted by another.

We may never be able to stop domestic violence, but we have the tools to identify it and act when we see it. I challenge you to learn about domestic violence and to act when you recognize it; break the silence of domestic violence.